Seven is NOT my Lucky Number

Oh for heaven's sake, enough rants! If the dead deserve to be left in peace, so do the living! *lol*

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Hun and I spent the night at her parents' place. We were planning to go to the market early in the morning to buy stuff for lunch. To cook again after months and months of being too busy to do anything more than to make soft-boiled eggs! Not that there's anything wrong with soft-boiled eggs. In fact, there's nothing NOT to like about soft-boiled eggs. That flowy yellow yolk, the quivering white (let's not get scientific, please!)... best eaten with your hands and with a tiny sprinkle of fine salt. Yummm...

Anyway, back to lunch. We were planning to grill a few slabs of procine body parts and a few phallic veggies. Served with plain but fragrant jasmine rice... it would have been a lunch fit for... a hungry family. *lol* You could have read about it and the accompanying gluttonous actions from Hun and I in my other blog. Or maybe you won't. Coz we ended up sleeping until noon! Yaarrrhhh, so now I know what zombies feel like. Eeerrr...

Alrighty then!

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I was tagged by text by an old blogger friend who updates his blog less frequently than I do. (How pathetic is that? Having a blog I hardly ever update? I moved blogs for the nth time. Is that excuse enough?)

Anyway, to start blogging again on the right foot I'll post the "tag" here. Aside from the fact that I'm too lazy to text back, my answers are also quite long and it will take a couple of hundred text messages to reply completely. No, brevity has never been my strength. So here goes!

1) Who are the seven most important people in your life?

* Hunny
* Popsie
* Mudrabelles
* Kowiz
* Kritz
* KT
* Kaiz

What can I say? Blood may be thicker than water but love conquers all. Huwaaaatttt?!?

2) Who are the seven people you'd rather deport to another galaxy?

* I will draw seven blanks here. I don't want to be a suspect should one or all of them disappear off the face of the Earth. "Hey officer, it wasn't me! I was home stuffing my face with Marion's cookies!"

3) If there were no more books left in the world, what are the 7 books you'd like to keep?

* That's a really tough one. I'll just draw seven more blanks here. If that time comes, I'll close my eyes and grab seven books at random. I don't keep books I won't want to read again anyway.
4) If you had no choice but to keep watching TV, what are the seven movies you'd keep watching?

* Gia
* Mr. and Mrs. Smith
* Girl, Interrupted
* Lara Croft (may I count them as one?)
* Wanted
* Alexander (AJ was the highlight of - and probably the only good thing in - that movie)
* Taking Lives
* The Bone Collector

Oops sorry. Was that seven already? I got carried away... *lol*

5) What are your top seven favorite cuss words?

* Shit
*Crap
*F_ck
*Dammit
* the Tagalog word for a woman's privates
* any and all combinations of the preceeding expressions

6) What are your top-seven favorite expressions?

* "Whatever"
* "Chuva" or "Chuvaness"
* "Riiiiggghhhttt"
* "Weh?"
* "Chempi!"
* "Keber" or "Kyemer"
* "Trulaness" or "Truvanescence"

7) Top seven favorite food?

* Chocolate (dark and milk. White chocolate is not chocolate!)
* Ice cream/gelato (yum)
* Cookies! Gimme! *drool*
* Pizza with crispy-chewy crusts ( I *heart* pizza)
* Pasta
* A good medium-rare rib-eye steak (or any medium-rare steak, for that matter)
* Brocolli and boiled corn on the cob(yes, it's true)

It may have been easier to ask me what food I won't eat. I won't even get my list up to seven. Maybe.

8) If you could choose someone to spend the rest of your life with, who are your top seven choices (current SO not included)?

* I'd rather keep my mouth shut on this one (or rather, I will choose to restrain my fingers from revealing my deepest desires *lol*)

9) Top seven favorite blogs?

* http://www.Marketmanila.com
* http://www.roboppy.net/food
* http://dessertcomesfirst.com
* http://80breakfasts.blogspot.com/
* http://scentofgreenbananas.blogspot.com/
* http://lutkie.blogspot.com/ >> My new favorite. She's prolific!
* http://www.seriouseats.com/

Yes, you are correct. They are all FOOD blogs.

10) Among the seven deadly sins, which are you most guilty of and why?

* Gluttony. See item above.

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Tati and I were planning to go to Amici (yaarrggghh, gelato... pizza... pasta... *drool*)! Anyway... BUT things don't always go as planned so maybe that plan will materialize next weekend. Or the weekend after that. Or... whenever!

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The porcine party pushed through after all! Whee! I'll be posting that in my other blog.. Harrrr!

-o-o-o-o-o-

Listening to: I Will Survive - Cake

"Weren't you the one who tried to break me with desire?"

Famous Last Words

Didn't anybody tell you that words are the surest way to dig yourself a grave and place one of your feet in there?

You're right... you really did need to figure yourself out. Because, God knows, you are one hard nut to crack.

How could you think I wasn't taking you seriously? How could you think I was going to leave you?

Are we going to have to go through the memory banks again?

Ok, ok! Fine, let's get it over with! Load CD#1 and press play.

Christmas Day. Starbucks. Two brewed coffees. Big bag. On your way home to your mom. I love you Espresso. I love you Endorphin.

New Year's Day. Off to see Miss Long Term's family.

New Year's night. 6 bottles of beer. 3 hours on the cellphone with my bestfriend. He's wondering why you're breaking up with me again. Again! Do you remember?

Oh, I do. How did it go again? "I don't deserve you? I'm not worthy. Sa iba ka na lang. Maraming mga katulad ko... sa zoo."

I wonder if you remember why that happened. I'll tell you... you tried to break up with Miss Long Term. And whatever words passed her lips made you want to leave me.

How about when she found your other phone and she read our messages to each other? Do you remember what you said to her? Oh, I do. "Hindi mo man lang nirespeto ang mga gamit ko."

There was something that happened that very same day on the driveway in front of your mother's house one fateful Sunday afternoon. Do you have any idea what it was? Yes, you broke up with me again! You left me. Again.

Are we starting to see a pattern? You left me when Miss Long Term picked a fight with you. You left me when Miss Long Term found our pictures on an out-of-town trip. You left me when Miss Long Term confronted you about me and said "nagpapakasarap ka sa aming dalawa".

So, how in the living hell did it ever occur to you that I would leave you? Hello?!?

Next point: my classmate would be starting a new institution in a town about 20 minutes from your then workplace. She wanted me to pilot the project. I was prepared to move 2 hours away from my friends and family to be with you. I was ready to uproot myself and settle down somewhere in the middle of nowhere (nowhere near Manila, anyway)). Just to be with you.

And yet you say I wasn't taking you seriously? Hello?!?

Stop CD. Eject. Power off.

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When you want something so bad, you fight for it with everything you have. You would stop caring about yourself. You wouldn't give a shit about what other people think or what other people will say. You'd put yourself last. Your everything will be geared towards getting that something that you want with all your heart and soul.

When you don't give your all, when you think of yourself first before that one thing you wanted, when you thought of anything else before it then you did not want it enough.

No, it wasn't you who did not deserve me. It was I who did not deserve you. I did not deserve that effort from you.

Because in your mind, whether you admit it or not: I was not worth fighting for.

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Don't get me wrong, it's not that I haven't forgiven you. I already have a long time ago. I forgave you each and every time my heart broke. I forgave you each and every time you left me. Up until your last departure, I forgave you.

Hoho! But don't get me wrong either. Forgiveness and friendship are two mutually exclusive things. Like love and sex. Like pleasure and pain. Like remembering and wanting to communicate. Like... oil and water? *lol*

Like loving two women at the same time: they can both be in your heart but only one can be the love of your life.

Sounds familiar? *lol*

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Her famous last words were that she did not think I was enough. Well, well... enough said. Don't you agree? *lol*

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When you come back, I will not slap your face until it bleeds.

When you come back, I will not cuss at you nor yell at you.

When you come back, I will not do to you all the hurtful things you did to me. (You, of all people, should know that that's not my style. Don't insult me.)

You know why? Everything may be fine and dandy with you and Miss Long Term. But you and I are not getting there in the near future.

Not by a long shot.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Listening to: Too Little, Too Late - Jojo

"So let me on down
Because time has made me strong
I'm starting to move on
I'm gonna say this now
Your chance has come and gone
And you know it's just too little too late"

Apologize

One must forgive to be forgiven.

Forgive and forget.

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and that prisoner is yourself.

Having the ability to forgive is to be one step closer to God.

Forgetting is the easy part, forgiveness just takes longer.

So many good quotes about forgiveness. So many people using the word. But what is it really? It is absolution for something done. Simple enough? Well, not really.

Consider this: how do you forgive someone who has no idea that she has done wrong?

How could you be sorry for something you do not even understand? How can you apologize for shortcomings you do not fully comprehend?

Before I can even begin to forgive you, I need to know what exactly it is you are sorry about. So, what are you sorry for, exactly?

Are you sorry that you and I began dating even when you had one long-term and one short-term realtionship still in the works?

Are you sorry that you made Miss Long Term believe that I was the one who ultimately ruined your relationship when the fact is that Miss Short-Term came right before me?

Are you sorry that you made me your dirty little secret? Are you sorry you never introduced me to your friends and that you would almost always want to not be affectionate in public lest someone you know sees us?

Are you sorry that you make me wait for you for hours and then stay with me for half an hour for a really late dinner?

Are you sorry that you ditched me to go out with your officemates when I travelled 2 hours just to meet up with you at a place 20 minutes from your office?

Are you sorry for all the times when you would talk to Miss Long Term on your cellphone even when I'm right in front of you and looking obviously hurt?

Are you sorry for the lame excuses you used that resulted in me commuting home by myself at a time when I should be sound asleep and resting? Are you sorry you never even offered to TRY and accompany me as any good partner would?

Are you sorry for the weekends we never get to spend together because Miss Long Term wants to see a movie or eat out or work out with you?

Are you sorry for spending the night with me and making be believe I am the only one then making me watch as you get into Miss Long Term's car on the way home to see her family... while I was right across the street?

Are you sorry for trying to leave me and break my heart and for making me cry and hurting me... for everytime that you and Miss Long Term have a fight?

Are you sorry for making Miss Long Term look like a fool, being the last to know about us?

Are you sorry for promising me that you will tell Miss Long Term about us but never did until she found out for herself and you had no choice but to fess up?

Are you sorry for every promise you broke, for every stab you inflicted on my heart, for every lie you made me believe?

Are you sorry for loving me and being my girlfriend and doing things for me ... only when they were convenient for you?

Are you sorry you broke my heart?

Are you sorry that you never treated me as your priority, that you mademe feel I was always second to someone else, most especially Miss Long Term? Are you sorry for taking me for granted? Are you sorry for being selfish and inconsiderate?

Do you have any idea, at all, of the things you have and have not done?

And in case you're wondering who I'm talking about, yes it's you! Who's "you'? Well, I have one more quote: bato-bato sa langit, ang tamaan guilty!

-o-o-o-o-o-

Listening to: Apologize - One Republic

"You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around and say
That it's too late to apologize
It's too late"