You Were Saying?!?

ONE: Do you love me today?

TWO: Bakit naman "today" lang? Lagi naman kitang mahal...

ONE: It's only today that matters to me. Hindi naman natin alam kung may bukas pa tayo eh. Our "today" is the only time we have that we are certain is really ours.

TWO: What do you mean by that? Love mo ba ako today tapos bukas hindi na? Bukas ba iiwan mo na ako?

ONE: Hindi sa ganun. Hindi natin alam, baka bukas masagasaan ako ng tren. Baka bukas mabangga ako ng truck, maholdap at masaksak, atakihin sa puso sa stress, hindi na magising...

TWO: Kaya nga nag-iingat diba? Para sigurado tayong may bukas pa tayo para magmahalan?

ONE: Hindi din kasiguraduhan yun... pag oras mo na, oras mo na.

TWO: Nakakalungkot naman isipin.

ONE: Wag mo nang isipin... dadating yan kung kelan dapat. It's a matter of "when", not "if". So... do you love me today?

TWO: Yes, I love you today. I loved you yesterday and every day before that since the day I realized it. I will love you tomorrow and every day I will live thereafter.

ONE: That sounds so nice... but we don't know that either... As long as you love me today, I'll be ok. That's enough for me.

There's A Fine, Fine Line...

Yes, I saw Avenue Q with Paolo the other night. Aside from singing along like two 3-year olds in front of Sesame Street (with nudity and foul words), I also felt like sticking a knife between my ribs hearing this song again after ten million years... Okay, two years.

This is a song by Kate Monster after Princeton dumps her to find his purpose (ugh, I do hate that word). Emphasis 100% mine...

There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time

There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time

And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore.
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for
For my own sanity, I've got to close the door
And walk away...

There's a fine, fine line between together and not
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time

I sure hope you're not wasting my time as I am making sure I'm not wasting yours. Coz that would suck...

Relasyones Chuvaness!

From Facebook:

"... a successful relationship requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. Always with the same person, but deeper and deeper everytime. Each time on a whole new level you together open in love and discover the truth of your beloved anew. There is no limit to the beauty of your beloved. If you think you've reached the end, stop generalizing."

Awww gawd...

Well, what if the relationship in itself is something that your family and society in general frowns upon? What if it is something God forbids?

What...ever!

The 30-day Mark...

So it has been thirty days since... 1) Ondoy hit the Philippines and washed away A LOT of stuff; 2) a nameless storm hit and washed away 3 years+ of... stuff.

ANYWAY, now is not the time to mope. Now is a time to celebrate because my Pisay roommate of three years is now... MARRIED! Congratulations, Mrs. Abigail Pascual-Olayres. Like I said in my speech, I am SO happy for you... obvious naman sa dami ng all-caps na ginamit ko diba?

Pictures not yet uploaded, too tired to do so. Rey, share your pics!

♥ ♥ ♥

Today, 25 October 2009:

I have been smoke-free for 85 days...and I still don't miss it.

I missed the 3K Run for Life this morning. For the life of me, sleep and comfort felt more important than a marathon I have been wanting to run for months now.

I saw a Pisay friend walk down the aisle and marry her sweetheart of 9 (?) years. Aaaawww...

I still am not in a hurry to get married, though... much less enter another serious relationship yet again. I'd rather live vicariously in that aspect for the time being, thank you very much!

I met up with my other Pisay friends and it made me realize how much this job is really disconnecting me from the world I once inhabited. It makes me wonder: is it still worth it?

I have been thinking since last night: There is always a FIRST time for everything... and I have been wanting to ask "so when was the last time YOU did something for the first time?"

♥ ♥ ♥

So there's this talk of another big storm hitting the country in a week's time. God have mercy on us all...

Before I hit the sack, I would just like to say: Actions speak louder than words. If your actions can vouch for you, don't bother with words. They most often complicate things.

Harharhar...

Simply Happy

On Thursday, 17 September 2009:

I have been smoke-free for 53 days... and I don't miss it at all!

I have been alcohol-free for 15 days... but I miss it. =(

I have run a total of 10km in the past week.

I have spent a total of 3,200 pesos on clothes in the past week. *gasp*

I climbed the inclined wall twice in less than 3 minutes at each attempt. Whee!

Kuya Manny was our guy at the wall.

Alvin traversed 9-10-11 successfully, yey! Neither Japes nor I did. =(

Japes forgot to drop me off at Sucat... and we ended up having to turn back on the way to his house. *lol* I-take home daw ba?

@>-;-----

On this day, 19 September 2009:

I am happy. Simply happy. Happily simple. =) More energy, mas happy!

@>-;-----

Taking Nikka to walk in Boni High Street. It's kinda cloudy and rain is threatening BUT we're forging on. Kowiz will drive. Ayoko mag-drive. Kailangang hawakan ang asong malikot!

Ciao for now!

On This Day - 6 September 2009

I have been smoke-free for 35 days.

I have run a total of 30km in the past month.

I have consumed more chocolate-covered cereal in one sitting than any normal homo sapiens should consume in one week.

I realized that things happen... not necessarily for a reason.

That doesn't change the fact that I still have the need to ask "Why?" without necessarily having the need to hear the answer.

Still... why?

Ponder THIS...

"One grows distant from another not because of indifference, but because of fear. There's the fear that the hurt gets greater as one gets closer; a recognition of the tendency to fall deeply, and consequently drown in a quicksand of stupid irrationalities. Sometimes, what drives one away is not the absence of emotion, but the overwhelming presence of it"

@>-;-----

Is this what's driving you away? Or am I just assuming too much? Maybe I was wrong, maybe nothing's driving you away. Maybe you were never HERE in the first place. Maybe there was never anything there after all...

@>-;-----

Cross-posting from FB:

1 What's your latest addiction?

♥ Any and all activities that punish my body and make me sweat. No, sex is not one of them *lol*

2 What are you listening to?

♥ Be OK - Ingrid Michaelson

"Open me up and you will see
I’m a gallery of broken hearts
I’m beyond repair, let me be
And give me back my broken parts"

3 How late did you stay up last night and why?
♥ Until...uh....wait, I haven't slept in the past 33 hours. 0_o

4 Who were the last 2 people to text you?

♥ Paolo and Jovi

5 Any plans for tonight?

♥ Dinner with Ceccz and Rei. Go home to Nikka to take her for a walk and some pooch quality time

6 Who were you with last Friday night?

♥ SECRET =) Basta I was happy with the people I spent Friday with

7 Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?

♥ Depende sa kanya... *lol* Ayoko nang magsalita!

8 What radio station do you listen to the most?

♥ NU Rock 107.5 and URock 105.9

9 When was the last time you cried?

♥ I guess last week. Lost. Dazed. Confused. Tired. What can I say? =P

10 Have you ever talked to someone when they were high?

♥ Oh hell yeah! It wasn't a pretty sight!

11 What does the fifth text in your inbox say?

♥ Jovi: "Ahehe tnx. Out na video sa MVT and MYX. San yung Urbandub event? May event ang UG tomorrow night, baka dun ako pumunta pag sinipag"

12 What movie you seen last?

♥ HP6? I hated how bitin it was! Grrrr...

13 What’s your outfit right now?

♥ Black mid-thigh length stretch dress and salmon-colored footless tights with black and white patterned 3-inch wedge sandals

(opo, walang 14-15)

16 What were you doing at 11 pm last night?

♥ Walking Nikka outside, against the vet's advice. Harhar...

17 Who was the last person you texted to last night before bed?

♥ I haven't gone to bed so... the last person I texted before I "slept" was Dada. Hoping she was ok.

18 Will you be driving in a year?

♥ In my new car? Hopefully yes, if all things fall into place as I planned. Excited to get my Foxtrot (yeah, may name na sya kahit wala pa sya saken)!

19 Is there anything that you are craving right now?

♥ Bacon waffles with whipped butter. Does going to La Union to surf count? That's a craving too, right? *lol*

20 When and where did your most memorable "hug" take place?

♥ Aaahhhrrr... Sometime last week, very early in the morning somewhere down South. My lips are sealed, though =)

21 Single or taken?

♥ Single is sexy...I'm not! Not THAT way anyway! *lol* Taken... for granted?

22 Have you ever started a sentence with "No offense, but"?

♥ Hell yeah... though, most of the time I skip the "No offense" part and go ahead to the offensive part. *lol*

23 Do you drink tea?

♥ Yeys! Bring it on! Tropical Passion from CBTL, I heart you!

24 Have you ever been arrested?

♥ Nope and I hope I never will be

25 Have you rode in someone else's car today?

♥ SECRET! =D Mahirap na...

26 Have you made a mistake this past week?

♥ Of course, I'm sure. I am but human.

27 Who was the last person you texted?

♥ This morning? Paolo, to confirm if we're going to Abi's wedding together. Ayoko magdrive... umagang umaga!

28 Are you happy with your life right now?

♥ Hmmm... yeah... I'm happy with the new things (and people) I'm involving myself in (with). =D

29 In the past 72 hours have you been under the influence of?

♥ Insomnia. Sleeplessness. Rambling thoughts. No, not drugs.

30 What's the connection between you and the last person you texted?

♥ My best friend of 14 years. =) Aymishu, PVP!

31 Do you think someone will repost this?

♥ Most def!

32 Do you miss someone?

♥ Of course... but I won't tell you who! Mahirap na...

33 Do you think the person that you miss, misses you too?

♥ I sure hope so, it'll be too sad if that's not the case...

@>-;-----

Tala: Mukha ka nanamang tanga dyan... tama bang magbasa ng chat history? Kahit magbasa ka nang magbasa hanggang lumuwa ang mga mata mo, hindi sasagot yan. Hindi sya sasagot dahil hindi niya alam. Eh kung sabihin mo kaya sa kanya at nang magka-alaman na?

Star: Hindi pwede. Hindi pa ngayon ang tamang panahon.

Tala: Kung hindi ngayon, kelan pa?

Star: Hindi ko alam. Next year? Two years from now? Never? Baka nga never.

Tala: Bakit naman never?

Star: Kasi baka mali ang basa ko sa mga senyales. Baka wala naman palang kahulugan lahat ng mga ginawa at sinabi nya.

Tala: Pano mo malalaman kung hindi mo tatanungin?

Star: Ayokong mauna. Palagi na lang akong nauuna palagi... At nauuna lang din akong masaktan palagi. Nakakasawa na.

@>-;-----

"We need to talk" >> the four MOST dangerous English words.

Random Thoughts On Another Sleepless Night (Morning?)

SKL na nababaliw na ata ako sa kakaisip sa kanya. Hindi na tama ito. May meaning ba ang "Text ka pag nakauwi ka na" o ang "Text ka pag nasa bahay ka na"?

SKL na ala-una na. May pasok pako ng 7AM. Hindi ako makatulog. Iniisip ko siya. Iniisip ko work. Iniisip ko ang ngayon. Ang bukas. Ang kahapon.

SKL na ayoko nang mag-isip.

@>-,------

BB,

Thank you for the fantastic weekend. You have no idea of the effect you have on me. But if it were up to me, I won't let you know. Not yet, anyway.

GB

@>-,------

Overhang,

You push me to try bigger things than I am used to. You encourage me to try and just laugh at myself should I fail.

It was you who said "At least na-try mo".

It was you who said "Cool ka lang. Hindi mo problema ang problema ng buong mundo."

It was you who said "Ok lang yan. Kakayanin natin ito."

Why aren't you the one I'm spending my time with?!?

15-Degree-Incline

@>-,------

When a person's influence practically dictates your playlists... you're in big trouble! Be still, my heart!

@>-,------

My hands are searching for you
My arms are outstretched towards you
I feel you on my fingertips
My tongue dances behind my lips for you

This fire rising through my being
Burning I'm not used to seeing you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

My hands float up above me
And you whisper you love me
And I begin to fade
Into our secret place

The music makes me sway
The angels singing say we are alone with you
I am alone and they are too with you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

And so I cry
The light is white
And I see you

I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

Take my hand
I give it to you
Now you own me
All I am
You said you would never leave me
I believe you
I believe

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healed

----- "All Around Me" - Flyleaf

@>-,------

I wish I could be every little thing you wanted...all the time. Tang*na mo, ang hirap mo ispelingin! Hayuf!

Good morning, world...

Seven Years Bad Luck

YOU.

Yes, you!

I am so F*CKING sick of YOU!