Warranted of Arrested

Don't mind the title. It's got nothing to do with the entry.

On my other blog, the Divine Miss M! replied to my recent "second chances" rant:

"You give people second chances because when people make mistakes they learn and they become better versions of themselves. We don't always know what we are doing the first time. No school to teach us how to fall in love, how to be good lovers, how not to falter. And when we cut off from our lives people we loved, we cut off part of ourselves. And time will come when we've shaved off so many little bits that we don't recognise ourselves anymore. I know it's hard to forgive, but it's far easier to do that than live the rest of your life harbouring pain and resentment. Less baggage."

I started out replying to my aunt's comment BUT realized the reply warranted it's own entry (hence the screwed up title of this entry).

I didn't specify exactly what I was ranting about... nor did I specify who. But if we must discuss it from the POV of L-O-V-E... So we shall.

Oh but I do give second, third, fourth and even tenth chances... provided we haven't broken up yet. But once we've broken up, that's another story. Sure, all's forgiven and forgotten but I am not the type to reconcile with an ex. Once she walks away, she's history. She should've considered that before she stepped out the door.

As I've said in a previous blog on another site (hehehe), forgiveness comes to me as easy as exhaling. After all, what more can I do? The damage is done, the pain inflicted, the tears have fallen (and have dried up)... anufangavang magagawa ko dabah? But forgiveness does not equate with everything's-fine-and-dandy-let's-go-out-and-grab-a-couple-of-beers-and-maybe-rekindle-our-love! Neither does it equate with okay-we-may-no-longer-be-lovers-but-we-sure-as-heck-can-be-friends.

When someone (or something, hehe) breaks my heart, kicks me in the shins, tears my soul apart, kills me softly, bloody murders me... aba, suntukan na 'to! For that person to do that to me indicates a breach of trust. Whatever respect and trust we had between us has been betrayed... and that is something I do not take lightly. Call me callous, call me a female dog, call me mean but trust is something I take very seriously. When that is destroyed, almost nothing can bring it back (I didn't say nothing...there's a 1% chance that the person can regain it). For me, to forgive means I will let go of the pain and the betrayal. I will forget that he person ever caused it. But I won't let that person come close again. Why should I? So you can do it again? Neknek mo! Ano ako, tanga?

So much for forgiveness in the POV of L-O-V-E. But forgiveness doesn't just need to happen in love. It needs to happen on an everyday basis, sometimes every minute, every second. Someone is always hurt in some way by someone else. An ego bruised, an opinion lambasted, a person stepped on (hell yeah, this happens way too many times you would think there was a prize for doing this the most number of times), a friend brushed aside, a significat other taken for granted. As REM puts it... everybody hurts. But not everyone who does the hurting realizes what they have done. Either that or they just don't give a session of aerial coitus.

Without forgiveness, think of how much emotional baggage everyone would be carrying around.

My point (and I do have one - Ellen DeGeneres) is: I forgive. A lot. Easily. Many times over. The only difference is...I learn.

Happy Hearts Day!

I'm not very fond of flowers... It's a known fact (quite an obvious one looking at my curves - too much of them in one place!) that I would rather get chocolates. No, it's not because of the line "Ang babae ay parang bulaklak. Huwag mong pipitasin kung sisirain mo lang" from A Love Story (though I believe it makes sense). I also do not celebrate V-day. In my mind, it is a shallow commercially-driven waste of resources. But I am still a girl and I still get lovestruck sometimes. Who can resist coming home after a long stressful Friday the 13th in the office to find a boquet of roses on top of the fridge? (A digression, my current apartment is so tiny that my bedroom doors opens up to the fridge) Never mind that I am not fond or roses. Never mind that roses (in my narrow-minded, selfish opinion) are my least favorite cliche...errrr, flowers. It's the thought that counts! The color isn't so bad too. At least they're not red!

Happy First Birthday, Baby SKY!

I look forward to holding you in my arms and sharing a meal with you again. My treat! I love you, Baby SKY! =)

When It's O-V-E-R...

... That's the time I fall in love again.

So goes the song... but, but, BUT it doesn't work that way for me.

When it's over, it's really over. There are no second chances. Do it right the first time. Every time.

Why go for second chances when the chance has been given? Would it be my fault that you screwed up that chance? Would I be so mean to not grant you a second chance?

I do not believe in second chances. If you could have done it right, you should have done it right the first time around.

So... NO. No second chances. Why should I afford you that when I don't even allow myself that luxury? Ano ka, swerte?!?

P.S. (On a totally unrelated note): Rest in peace, Anabel.

A Portent of D-O-O-M

A few minutes into the New Year, I had my first portent of doom: this will NOT be a good year for me. I just k-n-o-w it. Well, the doomsayer said "I just know it."

But what the hey! I've been told many times at various points in my life that I had only a few weeks to a few months of my (dreary) life left to live. What can I say, ang masamang damo ay mahirap kitlan ng lifeness. Hehehehe... So my apologies to those who hate me with every fiber of their being. I'm here to stay. Live with it... for a few more months or so (if the latest doomsayer is to be believed).

But Anabel Bosch still has a full life ahead of her and your prayers will be instrumental in helping her live that life. I don't know her personally, only as an artist. But there is no law (by man or by God) that restricts prayers to those we know personally. Read about it HERE (and I'm sure other blog sites will have it) and get prayin'!

Just Another New Year

What is the best way to spend the days leading up to the New Year?

Do LOTS of stuff!

Cook up a storm

Momsie asked me to make side dishes for a family dinner on the 28th. Since her stove conked out the day prior, I made corn and carrots in garlic-butter sauce... and basil-olive oil grilled eggplant.

After slapping on some sunscreen (aka olive oil, dried basil, salt and pepper), the eggplant slices lounged on my stove-top grill for 2 minutes on each side until they were buttery soft. Sold out on the dinner table!

Throw around a few balls with your family

Family (nuclear + in-laws = one big FAMILY) went to MOA to throw a few balls around. Fun!

Clean up your humble abode

When I arrived here in Manila a week ago, I just dumped all my stuff on the floor. After several days of shopping, all the stuff accumulated on that same spot until Jeni and I had to evict the squatters... Which we did successfully but with much effort and many tears. Mwehehehe...

Stuff your face with a few regional delicacies

Tati brought home some crack...err, butterscotch from her trip to her hometown. Being a self-confessed BS (bullcrap or butterscotch...both apply mwehehehehe!) addict, I stuffed my face with one pack of the sweets and promptly went into a sugar coma. And, yes, that is a fly on my shirt. Coz I am SO full of sh*t (oh YOU are SO wishing it were true, aren't you?!? Libre lang mangarap... tingin muna sa salamin, kafateed!)

Hit a few balls around with sticks

Before we bid farewell to our current neighborhood (moving out early next year), we decided to check out a few local spots and chanced upon a billiard hall/bar/ktv thingamajiggie. They have about 8 (I think) billiard tables, two private KTV rooms (think Prov or a less classy Red Box) and cheap drinks (frozen margarita = 130 bucks. San ka pa?!?) - more than enough to make us stay more than two hours (and have a little too much to drink).

Have fun... and win a few stuffed toys in the process

So since Jen and I had nothing better to do in the last few hours leading up to putukan (*shudder*), we decided to spend those hours at Time Zone. Two hours later, we ended up with three new toys to add to the "babies" taking up precious real estate on my bed. Now Rocco won't sleep alone.

Alone no more...

Whose idea was THAT?!? I plead innocent, your Honor...

~o~o~o~o~o~

2008 - the year that was. It was so NOT uneventful for me. It was this year that...

... I made the move from educator to full-time corporate pain in the behind

... I weeded the men from the boys

... I also weeded the "stay" from the "go"

... I gained weight but gained more friends

... I fell in love again (heehee)

... I experienced snow!

... I said farewell to all that needed to be let go

... I chose to hold on to what needed to be held on to

For 2009, I wish to...

... move into a new place early in the year

... move on with my career (yes, move being the operative word)

... move on with my life (again, move is the operative word)

Yes, fifol of the world... 2009 is the best year to make a HUGE change in my life and I intend to do just that.

Thank you to everyone who was a part of my life this year. You know who you are. Thank you... you all made me who I am and who I am not.

Happy New Year, everyone! Now excuse me while I plug in my earbuds. The firecrackers are getting a wee bit too loud! Hehehe...

My Dream Summer Escape

I need time out. I need to destress. I need to detoxify.

I need to escape and I found the perfect place.

Antulang. It takes my breath away...

I want to stay at the Pool Villa. By my lonesome or with a special someone...

The outdoor jacuzzi would be the perfect place to cuddle while stargazing.

The Secret... come to Momma!!!

(photos from the Antulang Resort website)