Sunday, February 15, 2009
On my other blog, the Divine Miss M! replied to my recent "second chances" rant:
"You give people second chances because when people make mistakes they learn and they become better versions of themselves. We don't always know what we are doing the first time. No school to teach us how to fall in love, how to be good lovers, how not to falter. And when we cut off from our lives people we loved, we cut off part of ourselves. And time will come when we've shaved off so many little bits that we don't recognise ourselves anymore. I know it's hard to forgive, but it's far easier to do that than live the rest of your life harbouring pain and resentment. Less baggage."
I started out replying to my aunt's comment BUT realized the reply warranted it's own entry (hence the screwed up title of this entry).
I didn't specify exactly what I was ranting about... nor did I specify who. But if we must discuss it from the POV of L-O-V-E... So we shall.
Oh but I do give second, third, fourth and even tenth chances... provided we haven't broken up yet. But once we've broken up, that's another story. Sure, all's forgiven and forgotten but I am not the type to reconcile with an ex. Once she walks away, she's history. She should've considered that before she stepped out the door.
As I've said in a previous blog on another site (hehehe), forgiveness comes to me as easy as exhaling. After all, what more can I do? The damage is done, the pain inflicted, the tears have fallen (and have dried up)... anufangavang magagawa ko dabah? But forgiveness does not equate with everything's-fine-and-dandy-let's-go-out-and-grab-a-couple-of-beers-and-maybe-rekindle-our-love! Neither does it equate with okay-we-may-no-longer-be-lovers-but-we-sure-as-heck-can-be-friends.
When someone (or something, hehe) breaks my heart, kicks me in the shins, tears my soul apart, kills me softly, bloody murders me... aba, suntukan na 'to! For that person to do that to me indicates a breach of trust. Whatever respect and trust we had between us has been betrayed... and that is something I do not take lightly. Call me callous, call me a female dog, call me mean but trust is something I take very seriously. When that is destroyed, almost nothing can bring it back (I didn't say nothing...there's a 1% chance that the person can regain it). For me, to forgive means I will let go of the pain and the betrayal. I will forget that he person ever caused it. But I won't let that person come close again. Why should I? So you can do it again? Neknek mo! Ano ako, tanga?
So much for forgiveness in the POV of L-O-V-E. But forgiveness doesn't just need to happen in love. It needs to happen on an everyday basis, sometimes every minute, every second. Someone is always hurt in some way by someone else. An ego bruised, an opinion lambasted, a person stepped on (hell yeah, this happens way too many times you would think there was a prize for doing this the most number of times), a friend brushed aside, a significat other taken for granted. As REM puts it... everybody hurts. But not everyone who does the hurting realizes what they have done. Either that or they just don't give a session of aerial coitus.
Without forgiveness, think of how much emotional baggage everyone would be carrying around.
My point (and I do have one - Ellen DeGeneres) is: I forgive. A lot. Easily. Many times over. The only difference is...I learn.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
I'm not very fond of flowers... It's a known fact (quite an obvious one looking at my curves - too much of them in one place!) that I would rather get chocolates. No, it's not because of the line "Ang babae ay parang bulaklak. Huwag mong pipitasin kung sisirain mo lang" from A Love Story (though I believe it makes sense). I also do not celebrate V-day. In my mind, it is a shallow commercially-driven waste of resources. But I am still a girl and I still get lovestruck sometimes. Who can resist coming home after a long stressful Friday the 13th in the office to find a boquet of roses on top of the fridge? (A digression, my current apartment is so tiny that my bedroom doors opens up to the fridge) Never mind that I am not fond or roses. Never mind that roses (in my narrow-minded, selfish opinion) are my least favorite cliche...errrr, flowers. It's the thought that counts! The color isn't so bad too. At least they're not red!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Saturday, February 7, 2009
... That's the time I fall in love again.
So goes the song... but, but, BUT it doesn't work that way for me.
When it's over, it's really over. There are no second chances. Do it right the first time. Every time.
Why go for second chances when the chance has been given? Would it be my fault that you screwed up that chance? Would I be so mean to not grant you a second chance?
I do not believe in second chances. If you could have done it right, you should have done it right the first time around.
So... NO. No second chances. Why should I afford you that when I don't even allow myself that luxury? Ano ka, swerte?!?
P.S. (On a totally unrelated note): Rest in peace, Anabel.