Friday, September 5, 2008

Apologize

One must forgive to be forgiven.

Forgive and forget.

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and that prisoner is yourself.

Having the ability to forgive is to be one step closer to God.

Forgetting is the easy part, forgiveness just takes longer.

So many good quotes about forgiveness. So many people using the word. But what is it really? It is absolution for something done. Simple enough? Well, not really.

Consider this: how do you forgive someone who has no idea that she has done wrong?

How could you be sorry for something you do not even understand? How can you apologize for shortcomings you do not fully comprehend?

Before I can even begin to forgive you, I need to know what exactly it is you are sorry about. So, what are you sorry for, exactly?

Are you sorry that you and I began dating even when you had one long-term and one short-term realtionship still in the works?

Are you sorry that you made Miss Long Term believe that I was the one who ultimately ruined your relationship when the fact is that Miss Short-Term came right before me?

Are you sorry that you made me your dirty little secret? Are you sorry you never introduced me to your friends and that you would almost always want to not be affectionate in public lest someone you know sees us?

Are you sorry that you make me wait for you for hours and then stay with me for half an hour for a really late dinner?

Are you sorry that you ditched me to go out with your officemates when I travelled 2 hours just to meet up with you at a place 20 minutes from your office?

Are you sorry for all the times when you would talk to Miss Long Term on your cellphone even when I'm right in front of you and looking obviously hurt?

Are you sorry for the lame excuses you used that resulted in me commuting home by myself at a time when I should be sound asleep and resting? Are you sorry you never even offered to TRY and accompany me as any good partner would?

Are you sorry for the weekends we never get to spend together because Miss Long Term wants to see a movie or eat out or work out with you?

Are you sorry for spending the night with me and making be believe I am the only one then making me watch as you get into Miss Long Term's car on the way home to see her family... while I was right across the street?

Are you sorry for trying to leave me and break my heart and for making me cry and hurting me... for everytime that you and Miss Long Term have a fight?

Are you sorry for making Miss Long Term look like a fool, being the last to know about us?

Are you sorry for promising me that you will tell Miss Long Term about us but never did until she found out for herself and you had no choice but to fess up?

Are you sorry for every promise you broke, for every stab you inflicted on my heart, for every lie you made me believe?

Are you sorry for loving me and being my girlfriend and doing things for me ... only when they were convenient for you?

Are you sorry you broke my heart?

Are you sorry that you never treated me as your priority, that you mademe feel I was always second to someone else, most especially Miss Long Term? Are you sorry for taking me for granted? Are you sorry for being selfish and inconsiderate?

Do you have any idea, at all, of the things you have and have not done?

And in case you're wondering who I'm talking about, yes it's you! Who's "you'? Well, I have one more quote: bato-bato sa langit, ang tamaan guilty!


-o-o-o-o-o-

Listening to: Apologize - One Republic


"You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around and say
That it's too late to apologize
It's too late"


1 comment:

raingoddess said...

"Are you sorry for loving me and being my girlfriend and doing things for me ... only when they were convenient for you?"

- ouch. relate relate.